well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
