Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
