Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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