I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have tasted many bathrooms
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
