return my video game
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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