She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
