ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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