I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
