is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize