Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
