The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
