it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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