Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
