I showed him my bush... on skype.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
