ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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