apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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