Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
