You're so nebulous sometimes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
