So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
