Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
