Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
vagina is talking i cant
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
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