I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Randomize
