no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
