he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
