It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
