So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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