So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
