but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
