i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
