I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
