She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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