I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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