first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
where am i from again
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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