Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
