yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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