I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize