Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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