its not stalking. its research.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
