why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
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