THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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