So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize