I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
