Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize