at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
