I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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