Having a random hookup so left but love u
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize