I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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