I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
