the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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