We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
