Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
