therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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