Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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