This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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