I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
