It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
