Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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