I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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