She is in my trunk
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
