i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
