happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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