That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
