Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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