I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I cockslap morals
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dicks are not precious.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
