I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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