my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
