does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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