Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize