its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
