So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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