I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
