I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
